CPA Journey

Continued from Part 3 of 4 – My Crazy Maternity Leave

To Work or not to Work – that is the question

Before I knew it, I was in Month 11 of my insane year of maternity leave and was due to go back to work soon. I had a lot of questions and important decisions to make and still wasn’t emotionally stable. Do I even want to go back? What about my little girl? She still has so many appointments. How can I possibly leave her with strangers at daycare? How would she ever adjust over there? Would she eat? Would she nap? Would they ever understand her needs? Would she spend all day crying? And how can I go back to a work environment which is known to be so demanding? Would I spend my days struggling at work? Would I ever reach the end of the tunnel? I felt so clueless and had no real answers to any of these questions.

The daycare part was hands down the toughest to think about and find a solution for. The last time I went to work, I was pretty much single. Now I had a family – a baby to dress and feed in the morning before catching my train and somehow making it to work on time. I used to hardly reach my office for 9am, so this new daily routine seemed impossible.

….Continued from Part 2

My maternity leave is not a time where I look back and see lots of happy memories. Basically, if you met me around then, you would’ve found me with a tiny baby in my arms, and I would’ve said that life is brutal. It’s unfair. It’s hopeless. And if you’re thinking it was postpartum depression, it really wasn’t. At least I don’t think so. Because I had no time to fall into that kind of depression! As you read on, you’ll see why 🙂

I had wanted to travel as soon as possible after the birth of my daughter to be with my husband, but my daughter was too little and too weak for that. So I decided I’d wait until she was a bit older. But things got complicated in a different way and I found myself in places and situations I could have never imagined.